Resolutions for the 116th meeting of the Classical Association of the Middle West and South, planned for Birmingham, Alabama, at the invitation of Samford University.
March 25-28, 2020
WHEREAS in past years we admired the cornmeal of Albuquerque and the cornhuskers of Nebraska, we now partake of cornpone in γλυκεῖα οἰκία Ἀλαβάμα;
WHEREAS Birmingham, at the southern end of the Appalachian Mountains, boasts famous peaks such as Mons Harenosus, Mons Ruber, and Mons Speculatorum, and provides abundant hydraulic power for the popping of corn throughout the land of the Tennessee Valley Authority;
WHEREAS in Dulcis Domus Alabama, home to NASA in Huntsville and NASCAR’s Talladega Speedway in Lincoln, we have offered prayers and sacrifices to keep the pollen at bay, grateful that the services of an augur were not necessary with the end of the spring invasion of robins;
WHEREAS this region has a long history of fighting for civil rights, including the famous march organized by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. from Selma to Montgomery, we have solemnly paid our respects to the city’s legacy of its centrality in the civil rights movement;
WHEREAS having come to Birmingham, this fairest of ferrous cities, to iron things out and forge alliances, we stood in the shadow of Birmingham’s 56-foot tall cast iron statue of Vulcan (circa 1904), which rises upon a pedestal to a towering 180 feet—mirabile visu—surpassing the Colossus of Rhodes;
WHEREAS the rivalry between the Aestus Ruber and the Tigres Purpurei who battle each year in the Calix Ferreus, is one of the greatest in the sport of football throughout the USA;
WHEREAS we, as serious scholars, did not refrain from the NCAA siren call of τὰ ἡδέα ἑκκαίδεκα, yet did forego curse tablets and magical papyri against our rivals;
WHEREAS the Cumberland School of Law annually celebrates the honorary 1937 degree (Doctor of Canine Jurisprudence) awarded to Rascal, for faithful class attendance, beginning in 1933, at the law school’s former campus in Lebanon, Tennessee;
WHEREAS no cave canem was needed, thanks to our warm reception from the Samford Bulldogs, and many of our number got their cat and caffeine fixes at Gatos and Beans, the only cat café in Alabama;
WHEREAS we are grateful to our hosts at Samford U, home of the Step-Sing, where we would much rather meet Rascal than encounter canem ferocissimum in vexillo during the Bulldog walk.
WHEREAS we are also grateful to the local organizing committee, comprising members from five universities and five high schools, the bedrock of Greek and Latin studies in Alabama:
BE IT RESOLVED
- that we have settled in Alabama whence proximo anno we will convene among the corn growers of Ohio, and that once again CAMWS has proven itself simply “a-maize-ing.”
- that in twenty-twenty, in this land of plenty, and that from nearly fordy states, we forded the rivers cum forditudine, some driving 4-door Fords, for de most affable and affordable classical confabulation, speaking not in 3-D but in 4-D (historical, herstorical, itstorical, and even hysterical) at the invitation of Samford University. Wherefore Plaudite, quaeso, fortissime hanc sodalitatem!
WHEREAS Latin students began the year with Ovid only to decline the embrace of (C)Ovid;
WHEREAS sagax Fauci, fauces vitae, Classics major (Holy Cross ‘62) and Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, has labored like a Herakles to save the nation from the viral fauces mortis;
WHEREAS our hopes of being hospites Alabamae were dashed, President Anne Groton and the Executive Committee organized aequis animis a remote conference (May 26-30, 2020), thereby honoring the Alabama state motto: “audemus iura nostra defendere”;
WHEREAS we are indebted to the Program Committee for their industry, artistry, and technical wizardry, and celebrate the presenters, facilitators, moderators, and audience members, all of whom Fortitudine et Virtute have ensured that we were not only entertained but enlightened during this, the twentieth anniversary of the release of “Gladiator”;
WHEREAS The best-laid plans of Mice an’ Men,
Gang aft agley
But doughty CAMWS yet persists
Not in a room,
But via Zoom,
Sive pessime aut optime!
BE IT RESOLVED that, though we be confined to barracks now, in 2021 we shall bivouac among the Spartans when we meet in the city of Progress and Prosperity on the banks of the beautiful Scioto River.
McKenzie Lewis, in memoriam
Anatole Mori, chair
Accepted by the CAMWS Executive Committeee on June 6, 2020.